“I Spit up Phlegm into His Mouth” and 10 Other Insane Confessions

It may happen to the best of us but it does come back and haunt us in a way that will make us feel embarrassed again.


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We often find ourselves in a situation where we inadvertently end up as a laughing stock for everyone in the vicinity. It may happen to the best of us but it does come back and haunt us in a way that will make us feel embarrassed again. Following are few of the accounts recalled by those who found themselves exactly in that uncomfortable position.

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1. “We got together and decided to open up a restaurant with our collective efforts. Well our hard work paid off and we were ready to get this thing underway. I stepped up and volunteered to assist the waiting staff. After all how hard can it be to serve a few drinks on a tray. One can honestly not go wrong with that. Imagine it is the opening night of your restaurant and you are asked to serve six beers to the guests. On top of that those guests were my brother’s boss and his colleagues. Well I took the order and stumbled my way to the table making sure I keep the tray straight. As soon as I reached their table and started to serve the beer the tray overturned from my hands and all the beer fell on my brother’s boss who is an attorney. It was so embarrassing I just skidded off to the nearest bathroom and hid myself in.” Mitchell, 26, Restaurateur.

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2. While I was lying down on the table for a session of bikini waxing my aesthetician who was going to do the deed suddenly commented “nice pink color”. I could not believe what I just heard as I thought she casually commented about my vag. I gave a reaction of being annoyed and angry and in my mind I even thought of giving her a piece of my mind.

However after the session while I was driving my eyes fell on my nails which were painted with bubblegum pink color nail polish and it hit me. Now I was feeling I did not even return the compliment but oh well.” Barbara, 20.

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3. “I have been on an online dating spree where I always hooked up with a new boyfriend every other week. There was this one guy though who would initially agree to go out with me but back out of the plans at the eleventh hour. It happened once and then twice. Third time he really started to get on my nerves. I was literally boiling with rage at his constant disappearing act at the last moment. However we hooked up again online and made a plan for the fourth time. He texted me mind you, but again cancelled it. That was it for me and I just lost my cool. I had a verbal diarrhea over the phone cursing him and telling him how terrible a person he really is. However when the dust settled I realized I mistakenly cussed a guy who was only cancelling for the first time. There goes any chance of seeing him again.” Chloe, 29.

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4. “I was due an interview for an important position in my company. I was actually looking forward to it. Making sure I make it on time and everything went according to plan. The interview went great as I demonstrated my knowledge in a very convincing manner. It was all going well when finally it was time to say goodbye. As I was about to leave the room I thought I saw my interviewer lean forward. I thought he was going in for a hug goodbye. I just hugged him back promptly not thinking much. It turned out he was leaning forward to open the door behind me. Well I did not want to come off as an office sleaze but I pretty much gave that impression with that out of the blue hug.” Nancy, 33.

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5. “My in laws were coming to stay over at our house with their young children between 8 and 10. I didn’t knew they would be using my bathroom and I didn’t give it much thought until I received a message from my brother in law with the picture of my vibrator on the bath tub “ your 8 year old nephew want to know what this is for?”. Should have cleared the room beforehand.” Janice, 29.

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6. It was the weekend and we were unwinding at the club. I got a bit too drunk and when I returned to my boyfriend’s place I thought of this brilliant idea of teasing his ear. I started to kind of wiggling my tongue around his ear and in my own strange drunk way making out with his ear. I was of course drunk and not in my senses when suddenly I bit down hard on his ear lobe. His sudden cry made me realize what I just did. The poor thing swelled up very badly and I could not care less under the influence of alcohol. My boyfriend and I still find it funny but it was certainly not funny at that moment”. Alicia, 22.

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7. “I was just recovering from a severe case of cold and flu when my friends decided a little fresh air will do me good. So we went to the bar and I just met this cute boy who instantly attracted me. We just started talking and I felt like we just clicked like those couples who just meet and instantly connect. We started to make out and as I was kissing him I tried to stop a cough but somehow I managed to spit phlegm into his mouth. We just stepped back and he asked did that just actually happened. I wished the floor would swallow me up at that moment. Obviously he left in disgust while my friends started laughing about how my cold screwed me one last time. The darn cold definitely had the last laugh.” Lee, 25.

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“I Spit up Phlegm into His Mouth” and 10 Other Insane Confessions

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