Last year, the U.S. divorce rate reached it’s lowest point in 40 years. Something is working here, but what is it? What is that secret quality that makes for a healthy relationship?
You might think it’s a stable income, vibrant sex life or an overall mindful approach to living, but think again. Apparently, the key to a long and fruitful relationship is flatulence. Yes – farts, gas, cheese, cheek squeaks, toot shoots, bumble rumble… hopefully, you get the point now.
If you still don’t understand, check out these 10 reasons why healthy farts make for a healthy relationship. They’re all good, but #7 is so crazy it has to be true, right?
10. Farts Show Comfort
Think about your fart history for a second. Not just the little squeaks, but those times you really let one go. Hopefully, you don’t do that while crammed into a crowded subway. No, these massive gas passes usually occur when you’re home, on the couch, in sweatpants watching TV. It represents comfort. Hence, when you release a monster like that in front of your significant other, it shows that you truly are comfortable around them.
9. Farts Create A Playful Environment
Farts are funny. There’s no other way to put it. Humor, as we all know, is a great way to diffuse a serious situation. So next time you’re deep in a mindless argument about nothing, put down your weapons and just one loose. You’ll be laughing and making love before you even remember what the fight was about.
8. Farts Make Great Inside Jokes
Everyone knows that couple with the cute inside jokes. They’re constantly giggling to themselves and it makes you sick. Well, you can have some sweet inside jokes of your own. Just fart around your significant other more! Sooner or later, a fart will create a funny situation that only you two will experience and remember for eternity.
7. Farts Are Sexy
Yes, you read that right. Farts. Are. Sexy. Just think about it for a second. What’s more beautiful than something pure, raw and uninhibited? Sure, any girl can wear makeup and any guy can wear cologne. However, those aren’t the aspects we love about our significant others. We love the natural, sexy aspects of that person. It doesn’t get much more natural than a nice, creamy fart. The craziness doesn’t end here though. Just wait until you read #4.
6. Farts Show Confidence
Why do you hide your farts? Most likely it’s because you’re embarrassed or because you don’t want to show the “real you” to whoever is in the range of that lethal gas. However, if you’re with the one you love, be your true self! There is no better way to do this then by “peepin’ a squeak.” It shows bravery, confidence, and chivalry all in one.
5. Farts Can Be Romantic
Farts aren’t just about silly humor. There are times when a fart is endearing to the heart. Maybe you are watching your sweet, significant other innocently sleep next to you. Suddenly, they let out a little toot. You smile and now, a new memory is created of why you like that person to begin with.
4. Farts Show Honesty
They say honesty is a key to a healthy relationship. Much like children, farts are as honest as it gets. By farting in front of someone, it shows you have absolutely nothing to hide. You are just being you. So if you ever catch someone hiding a fart, they might be hiding something much deeper. If that fact surprised you, stick around to see number one.
3. Farts Show Maturity
In television and movies, farts usually represent the most juvenile of jokes. However, don’t discredit flatulence. If you can put up with your significant other’s gas, then it shows a great deal of maturity. It shows that you are ready for any speed bumps that will arise in your relationship.
2. Farts Show Evolution
Do you remember the first time you farted in front of your significant other? It’s a transcendental moment akin to the first kiss. It means that you two are ready for the next step in the relationship. You two are evolving together and that’s a beautiful quality that should be cherished.
1. Farts Destroy Boundaries
A healthy relationship is one with flexible boundaries. Both parties involved need to respect each other. They need to respect their individuality. This can’t be done with strict rules and regulations. So tear down this wall with a healthy fart or two. Then (and only then) can you free yourselves from the shackles of society and roam free amongst the realm of true love.