As women, we really do ourselves and our potential pleasure a disservice by overthinking everything we do in bed.
In particular, we tend to overestimate what a man may expect from us and our bodies when we’re getting down and dirty.
There are certain things that we feel totally self-conscious about that men really don’t give much thought to.
So, without further ado, here are 10 things men don’t really care about when having sex:
1. How wet or not wet you are
There’s really no need to be insecure about being “too wet”. I mean, let’s face it, men are hardly going to be complaining about it and are actually very likely to see it as a compliment. And if you’re the kind of woman who has difficulties getting wet, there’s always lube.
2. Whether you’re totally hairless or not
A lot of women feel the need to painstakingly shave every part of their body for fear that their sexual partner will be disgusted by how they naturally look. But it’s almost certainly not as big a deal as you think it is. A lot of men will just be pleased that you’re willing to take your clothes off for them.
3. If your vajayjay doesn’t smell like a bouquet of fresh flowers
Women are especially insecure about the smell of their privates during oral sex. But it’s really not worth stressing about it – oral sex is a really intimate moment to share with a partner so just enjoy it! Also, vaginas are supposed to smell like vaginas and not your favorite Marc Jacobs perfume.
Take it from the experts: “It’s not supposed to smell like skin, an arm, or an elbow,” says Amanda Luterman, a psychotherapist in sexuality. “It’s supposed to smell like the inside if a person’s otherwise unseen – that’s the intimacy of it.”
And I’m sorry to say it but fussing about you privates during sex can be a huge turn-off. And that’s why having confidence is a huge plus in the bedroom!
4. The sounds you make during sex
While certain sexual experiences can leave you feeling vulnerable or embarrassed, a lot of the time you lose control in the best possible way. When you orgasm, you’re essentially losing control over your body and this can lead you to make involuntary movements and sounds. It’s to be expected and no one’s going to be weirded out by it.
5. If you’re too loud or not loud enough
Contrary to popular belief, no reasonable man is expecting the women they sleep with to be screaming the entire place down. And if you do happen to be a loud moaner, that’s also cool (unless you’re literally screaming in their ears).
6. If you jiggle
It’s pretty inevitable that your wobbly bits are going to jiggle about when you have sex, so it really isn’t something you should try to hide. No one should ever be so ashamed of their bodies that they will only ever have sex with a t-shirt on and the lights completely out.
7. Your sex face
It’s safe to say that men probably like that thing you do with your face during your steamy sex sessions. And besides, they have their own particular sex face.
8. What you’ve done with your hair
Men are so psyched any time they get the chance to have sex that they’re certainly not thinking about trivial things like whether or not your hair is up or down.
9. How long it takes you to come
If it takes you a long time to orgasm, you might start to feel self-conscious. But whatever happens, just know that he’ll be enjoying himself. Plus it’s pretty well-documented that women find it trickier to finish than their male counterparts so it’ll hardly be a blow to his ego if you don’t.
10. Giving constructive criticism
Any man will be willing to get a few handy pointers on how best to please a woman he is having sex with. He’d have to be pretty sensitive to take offense and ultimately it will serve you both if you are open and honest with each other.
All in all, overthinking during sex is rarely a good idea. It’s more likely to curb your passion and arousal rather than help you in any real way.
And if you’re really that concerned about what your man is thinking about when you’re in bed together, then tell him!
Communication is the key to every healthy sexual relationship.